Review of aliens vs. predator

Okay.  So some time ago now I made up a review of WWE Smackdown VS. Raw 2011 that pretty much fell flat on its ass.  I repeat, the characters, the wrestlers, appeared strange, I encountered many bugs while playing and in fact another one later on which I discovered by accident during online play.  Everything about the current WWE didn't go hand in hand with any game that could be made to simulate it that would be decent.

I have played Aliens VS. Predator, on Xbox 360, and can give this game a better review than my last.  20th Century FOX has something to do with this offering, to my shame, because like I said the game was actually pretty good in my view.  You'd think that if FOX had something to do with anything, it would be cobbled together and have hidden messages referring to the N.R.A. in it.

I decided to play this game first out of five others I bought for no reason other than I thought it would be just a good game to start with.  I looked at the achievement list, checked for story achievements (there are some in this game I guess obviously), checked for online achievements (there are ranked match achievements that now are a challenge to unlock because of the availability of ranked matches online), and weapon/kill related achievements that can be unlocked either during online or offline play.  The game has I think forty seven, but don't take my word on that.

I wasn't happy with the bland (although this wasn't the intention I think) looking loading screens and menu.  If I had my way, they would have been black, green and red to represent marine, alien and predator in colour.  Actually, I think it looked stupid.  But it was to do with like a startup screen to do with the Weyland (Weyland?  Weyland?  Smithers?  Get it?) Corporation, to do with the marines, throughout the game except for when you are playing in the game as alien and predator.  You see the flickering grey television closed circuit broadcast in the game on television and computer screens but every time in loadup screens and the menu.  I would have done things differently.

I started as a marine and made my way through the campaign.  Each campaign is short, but overall makes the game, a lengthy game.  Like many games, you experience a tutorial as you play at the start, Aliens VS. Predator is no different.  Shooting an alien at close range will nine times out of ten kill you so keep your distance.  Somebody else complained they didn't like that about this game.  Using the flamethrower can be fun and makes short work of killing a pack of aliens as long as you shoot the flame, hit the aliens, then run around until they die from their burns.  This device that the marine has that detects alien movement can be haunting and no lie, after I had turned off the console and television to take a break from playing I could still hear it in my head.  What it also does is make the game experience a suspenseful one because an alien can be right behind you or some distance in front on their way to attempt to kill you, of course.  You can tell by the pace of the bleeping how close an alien is, like reverse sensors on a modern car.

The jungle mission had me in awe when I first saw the vast open scape of small hills, shallow crystal clear water and plant life...  plus also aliens wanting to kill you.  It was like a game of Myst (I imagine anyway because I haven't played it).  That was about the only highlight however.  You have to battle three bosses one after the other to complete the game and that includes killing Professor...?  Commander...?  Weyland.  Be prepared for the very end of the game as marine, it can take you by surprise.

As alien, you can see marines through walls and tell the difference between marine and civilian by red for marine and green for civilian.  An achievement is awarded if you harvest all the civilians by using facehuggers.  What more can I say?  Take your time playing as an alien and don't rush as it can be tempting by how fast the alien can move especially when holding down the left stick to sprint.  Stalk and attack your prey without being detected if you can.

Playing as the predator was satisfying especially at the end when you use the kombi stick.  The kombi stick is a weapon like a javelin or giant dart that you throw and explodes when it hits a target but otherwise, like a wall, will not detonate.

Something made me cheat, I will admit, playing Aliens VS. Predator.  I don't know what exactly, but I experienced auto-aiming as marine and regenerating life as predator.  I don't think this was a bug.

In the end, the game gets a seven or eight from me.

Oh my god! oh my god! second s.a.s. soldier dies!

http://msn.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10754982&ref=rss

I haven't seen one poll in this country that asks whether the people of New Zealand want the S.A.S. there in Afghanistan.  I thought all of them were suppost to be brought home for the world cup to do duty here but while the tournament continues I know of none as security and another one has died!  I think the S.A.S. should have been asked by the prime minister as to whether they wanted to serve in Afghanistan.  Apparently within the group that has gone, there are some that don't want to be there.

This obviously doesn't help the New Zealand government.  This will add to public opinion that they should be brought home.  They are suppost to be part of a reconstruction team over there that is part of the whole occupation and nation building idea.  The United States, the head of it, I feel just doesn't have the resources to pull it off. 

He had a vision, crusader Bush, it all began with him.  A Christian vision of a perfect world, of a heaven on earth, a better world than we live in now, a world where freedom reigns... under god of course.  That is a contradiction because I believe god isn't about freedom.  Jesus was an advocate of torture and murder and I also believe that Jesus had a mental illness, was just a crazy man, and really was never meant to perform any miracles at all.

I almost joined the military and if I had of, I might have come out of it better for it.  It isn't true that I would have done any weapons training, that's a lie.  But trying to get a job in the end and having a good time doing it was a chance I didn't want to pass up and now its almost too late to try again.  In fact I saw evidence in a DVD that was shown that our military was under attack by American and Israeli forces by sick and perverted twisted mind control.  This is not spiritual, its technology.  Anyone who thinks it isn't technology is wrong and I am right, perhaps unfortunately.

Anyway, another one can be chalked up on the side of the Taliban Toyota Landcruiser.  Terrorists win once again like in a game of Counterstrike.

Birthday

Well, its my nephews birthday tomorrow.  He must be turning eleven.  Wow, its already been eleven years.  He probably isn't into Bob the Builder anymore but this Ben 10 cartoon character.  In fact, Ben 10 is I think Japanese anime.  So happy birthday and one day you might know me more than just someone who is only raised on occasion like when your mother and your father are talking in bed.

Tomorrow is also the same day I attempted suicide about two years ago and then left home to live out of my car for about four or five months because I had enough of how it was there. 

I dropped twenty kilograms in that time.

Wow, it is so much more easier to type these entries up than it was before. 

You would know this by now but I'm an enemy of the state and they will do whatever it takes to kill me.  It must be during the day, because of a satellite in the sky, that makes me feel how I feel.  I hate it.  Well, screw them.  They aren't going to get any more cooperation from me.  A government in this world has the power to kill people from space such as by heart attacks and so on. 

I think they're American.

Obama gets behind israel, ahmadinejad harps on once again at the u.n.

And I'm about to do pretty much the same.

It sickens me that I hear or read about so-called "friends" of Israel.  The United States being their best friend, but Israel is surrounded by countries that want to obliterate it.  The government of the United States can't serve two peoples and this is what is continuing to happen in 2011.  Obama is what has been called a spineless, cowardly and wimpy president for what he has just done.  Israel will always win even if a part-Muslim president is in power or not.  Israel are the terrorists along with the United States, the tyrannical superpower of the United States.  Their god is a terrorist, their government of god.  Israel makes me sick and you would be surprised how many Americans there are that also call for them to be wiped off the map.

President Ahmadinejad spoke at the United Nations again and had most of the assembly leave, again.  Ahmadinejad could be one of them anyway.  Ahmadinejad is part of the Jewish and Mason world order despite how many times he says he is against Jews.  They're all fuckin' hypocrites and will do whatever it takes to win a war that doesn't need to be fought and is being waged by Jews and Masons.  What two groups of deceitful evil people of lies and trickery that need to be shot to prevent any more carnage on this planet called Earth.  Rupert Keith Murdoch is one of them, YOU FUCKIN' OLD JEWISH FAGGOT!

Forgive me, its not easy being a mind controlled slave of the Jewish and Mason world order tyranny.  I might burn down a house tonight, a home where a Freemason lives.

Nothing to write about...

I want to clean up who I follow as I don't read all the blogs that I do.  There is another Asian woman (besides the other from Malaysia who is following me and one now needs permission to view her blog) studying law in New York City who appears to be interesting.  Other than her, theres that American commercial airline pilot.  All the others, not so much.

Also, I'm still here.  I'm still living in this city despite believing or hoping that I would have moved out by now, by about March this year.  Maybe next March of 2012, huh? 

Life may never be the same.

Nothing to write about...

Well, there is something.  Paul Holmes new book was number one in the country this week.  I will say that in truth he has absolutely no sympathy for the tragedy that happened and just wants to make money from it.  He has done that.  But me and you Mr. Holmes, still have a bone to pick, bastard.  I know you read this blog you cunning old man.  Just who the hell do you think you are?  Am I suppost to believe you have saved my life, Mr. Holmes?  You have done nothing like that.  Actually, you're killing me slowly with your Freemason advocated torture you son of a bitch.  I was glad when your mother died, faggot.  You are going to fucking pay for what you have done here, bitch.  I will make you my bitch one day and then you will know what its like to be me every single fuckin' day you old man.  Screw you.  YOU ARE THE TERRORIST. 

I don't give a fuck whether I have your support or not anymore you pedophile lovin' motherfucker.  Suck my cock.

Terrorism

Well the tenth anniversary should be over by now.  People have remembered, people have grieved... I don't get how last years remembrance was called "unlike no other" as I would think the media would call this one that being the tenth.  Oh, and no attacks happened despite Al-Qaeda terrorists in New York City or Washington D.C. apparently ordered to cause "as much destruction as possible".  Maybe the United States government will ally with Al-Qaeda in the future?

On this blog, it should be no secret by now that I too am a victim of terrorism.  In the late eighties, and also continuing on today.  Either by the I.R.A. or the United States government, or both.  I do very much doubt that Al-Qaeda, formed in, according to their Wikipedia page, the late eighties were responsible.  There would have been no way for them to have known to strike, they didn't know me.  Anyway, those Muslim extremists frown upon alcoholism, adultery... that's what Sharia law is about.  Sharia law is very conservative, about as conservative as conservative gets.  It is extreme right.  Europe is under a stealth take over by Muslims and Sharia law is recognised in parts, including in Britain.

All signs point to however, former George Bush Snr. being responsible.  Being in Texas, in Houston, the N.A.S.A. association, diverted from California, a "head spook" of the Central Intelligence Agency, also around the time of the formation of the Omega Agency, a staunch anti-homosexual... can I go on?  Then when his son gets power after the biggest election scandal in United States history, he has it in for me too, OBVIOUSLY.  Heh.  These people are part of the Illuminati, this world is their oyster.  Bush Snr. must be about as old as my father, old age will get him sooner or later.

Then I believe I was abducted and probed on an operating table and its why, either because of what they did then or the impact of the plane accident on my head, I can only do very basic mathematics.  I might have brain damage.  Don't be fooled by these people.  These people will torture and kill ANYONE who gets in their way or is a threat, or does something they don't like.  Well, I'm not going to go on.

Yet, here I am over twenty years later, alive, but they're still on my ass. 

9/11

Being where I am, we're a day in front of the United States but remembrance... meetings have already taken place where the attacks happened.  I think for now though, the site where that hi-jacked flight over Pennsylvania went down after the flights passengers tried to re-gain control is where people, including Bush and Clinton, have been grieving.  A conspiracy theory says that that aircraft was shot down and was en-route to the White House.  The other flights however, they reached their destined targets.

No security camera footage of the aircraft hitting the Pentagon has ever been released.  Only a few frames, actually.  If they released a lengthy movie, it could almost blow the theory out of the water that the fortification was hit by a missile.  But that has yet to happen, ten years on.

I really think the attacks, the aftermath, and the two foreign wars and or occupations in Afghanistan and Iraq that have suppost to have happened as the reasons because of it, could have been all avoided.  New Zealand, until early last year, was the only country to have no casualties in the war in Afghanistan.  We stayed out of Iraq.  That was bound to change at any time, and, of course, it did.  I now ask why should we help fight the battles of the United States?  They failed, failed, to protect the three thousand (that I actually think were many more) Americans that died on that day when "everything changed".  And everything did change, even in time.  In the past, and perhaps even the future.  Since 2008, we have a pro-American Jewish prime minister.  I think that's dangerous.  How can it be so convenient for the Americans for a tragedy like 9/11 to happen and Americans, secretly, celebrate it as a day of revolution for their godly cause?  That's what I think.  They wanted to be attacked, have used Muslim scapegoats, today being held in Illinois and Guantanamo Bay, also the figurehead by the name of Osama Bin Laden, and Al-Qaeda are still fighting for freedom.  I can't explain other attacks that have happened before and after 9/11 to make sense, to fit into my thinking, but what happened on September 11th, 2001 was the biggie.

The true evil in this world are Freemasons, Jews, Catholics and Christians.  They will do whatever it takes, including what I raised in the last paragraph, to shift the blame for something that they all had a small part in and wanted to happen.  To cover themselves up, they use a terrorist boogieman like the murdered Osama Bin Laden to help them.  Justice suppost to have being done, ha.  And its okay, because they're the good and he was the evil in their minds.  I'm telling it how it is.  Mossad, Israelis, could have flown those planes into the World Trade Centre and a missile being fired at the Pentagon.  Why?  All... in... the... name... of... god.

I guess I shouldn't care so much anyway.  But if I suspect trickery or something fishy happening such as 9/11, then I will point it out.  Oh how the mighty have fallen, and have seemed to just dig their hole even deeper over the past ten years.  The Americans didn't learn anything from history and history is repeating.  But they knew what they were getting into, former president... no, crusader... Bush, and amounts to sabotage of a country he is suppost to love.  We're in the twentieth century now, we aren't stuck in the eighteenth or nineteenth centuries anymore.  THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT ARE TERRORISTS.  There, I said it.  And its true.  They are worse than these Al-Qaeda terrorists they're suppost to be protecting Americans and actually other countries from.  Afterall, its suppost to be about terrorism, its suppost to be about good versus evil.

Just another day for me, although it will be Monday here when the anniversary will be official and likely, no attack take place as well.

What a blight on history.

C.I.A.

The following is a letter I typed up to send to the C.I.A..  You know, just bitching on and on about what they're doing here.  Its what I do best.

----------

To C.I.A.,

Well, what do I say?  Yes, I am the same person who would send random insults to your agency through these online e-mail forms to satisfy myself, to quell my hate, and to hopefully offend you each time although I think the messages were read but laughed off.

This is the first time I have visited your site on this connection so you might have my IP address.

You know, I've been thinking.  I've been thinking about the lies your former director George Tenent (spelling?) said on national (and then international) television about his agency being not responsible for torture.  From what I have experienced in my life,  I am sure I have experienced torture from your agency of astronomical power, as well as the campaign against me and my family stepping up to the next level by people with your blessing, at one or two times, coming into my home in the dead of night and shocking me with an electric prod with me in some kind of deep sleep not allowing me to wake up and attempt to fight off the intruders who were both (I suspect there was more than one in the room) cloaked in invisibility that you know happened.  What I detailed to you is suppost to be top secret, however unless there is one day, out of the blue, a media exposay about exactly what power your agency has (and how they use it) then the cat will be totally let out of the bag.  What do you know about that?

I am the underdog in this battle.  I am the underdog against your government, against your people, against the people of my country, against my allied government of yours that I just wish that I myself could realise, at least personally, we shouldn't be friends.  The Israelis, Israel... or Jews... another ally of the tyrannical superpower of the United States of America.  Don't deny it, your agency is here and I really want to know, why?  From what I have seen, I have seen evidence with my own two eyes that there is something at work here, in this city, in this country (New Zealand) and I believe it traces back to your government. 

Funny really, because Osama Bin Laden was right about how the United States "meddles" in the affairs of Saudi Arabia and how do I know this?  Because as I have said, you are doing the same here.  Why?

What else can I say?  What stance should I take with your agency?  I guess it will depend how things will continue to pan out however it could be too late in my mind for that so perhaps I should be ruthless and take your agency, as well as a few media organisations, by the balls and and sue for torture, murder, conspiracy to murder, unlawful invasion of privacy, defamation, intellectual property violation, human rights violations, crimes against humanity, burglarly, trespass, assault... can I go on? 

On second thought, yes I can, state-sponsored terrorism, abduction, kidnapping, slavery.  So as you can see, a mixed bag of really serious crimes that I believe trace back to your agency, if not your government and media organisations.  Should you be held accountable?

Do you have any idea how hard it is living my life?  It is hard.  I wear ear-muffs everywhere I go most of the time with ear plugs in my ears.  I have to stay in my house most of the time confined to the internet because of the war you wage from up there in the sky.  I believe you are breaking your own rules by doing so.  Peace and security by the C.I.A.?  Give me a fucking break.  I have rights but in your eyes you see me on the same level as a murderous terrorist and I believe the idea is that you will do anything you can to make me appear that way so what a stupid thing to do, really, what a thing to do that surpringsly everyone buys.

Seriously, if there were suspected terrorists in Canada and the United States getting paid millions of dollars from the government for being tortured to do with this never ending war on terrorism then I believe I could be in line for the same, I really do think so.  However I have no evidence, I was never detained, and that alone would be evidence enough because it actually happened to me.

Sometimes I really want to see your government severely pay for what they have done here, in my life, and continue to do.  As well as the Israelis.  That would mean innocent Americans dying and yes I understand that they are innocent but are sheep that follow your farce of a government that has far beyond lost its way.  The fight should be taken to government targets.

Your government is a joke.

----------

The C.I.A. website wouldn't allow me to send that to them, I HAVE BEEN FORESAKEN BY THE ALMIGHTY C.I.A. GOD!  HAHAHA!

Murdoch in trouble

http://msn.nzherald.co.nz/world/news/article.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=10749936&ref=rss

Oh, wow.  It appears the powers-that-be are doing it again.  By powers-that-be, I mean as in like the people who control everything, like Freemasons, or who can also be called the elite.

Well, I don't know what this means for me.  I guess if poor James Murdoch is going to be the focus, someone who was a child from a previous marriage (I mean, just look at him!), then I might be in trouble.  Sigh.  Man, its tough being me.  Sigh.  But at the same time FOX and other media organisations could owe me hundreds if not millions of dollars in compensation for what they do and what they have done that is twice as worse as what this story revolves around.  They can afford it.  They have no right doing what they do and I know, they think I have no rights but I actually do.  These are people who like to blame people like me, by the hand of their god, for these so-called natural disasters, the right.  They think god is angry with me and people like me for living how we do.  What a joke.  However, the scary thing about that is that there is no god (and they know it) and even though the United States could be heading in the direction of becoming a full blown theocracy, or a nation that uses gods word as the law of the land, the alternative that springs to mind is idols.  Have I got that right?  Like living, breathing people who are elevated above the populace as idols or leaders.  What am I saying?  We're already there although it isn't quite official yet.  Believe me, the United States and Israel are on that bandwagon.  They're a threat.  I will also add that the kind of world I talk about will be based on the word of god also.  It has to be, for them to carry over their credibility.  But, will cement the establishment of an American dictatorship.  So!  If you aren't in the know and don't have the power, you're in trouble.  I think everything above I talk of is only one step up the ladder to the top of becoming the way it is.

I find it funny that in the world of the representation, James is the one in trouble for something that is happening to me which is very real.  It isn't some representation, some pipe-dream fantasy, something we can believe in.  Its real and it hurts.  Its because they think I should have no rights.  They want to put me to work, but for what?  You can't expect someone to live like that.  Anyway, I'll show them eventually.  By "them", I mean the same people like James and Rupert Murdoch, anyone to do with FOX or CNN and even the BBC.  Can't do this, its against the law, its a violation of human rights.

Anyway, I have a bone to pick with someone.  I have a bone to pick with the high and mighty international gangster and or secret agent man (he can be anyone, you know) with the contact book the size of a Chinese phone book and the persuasion of the dollars in his bank account.  Yes, he thinks money talks.  But if I had the power, he'd be in serious trouble.  Ah, to dream of it.  I could use every tool at my disposal to make his life a living hell just like he does mine.  He thinks he is god.  But, he really just a feeble old man that thinks crime pays.  Pathetic.  So, watch out, dude, I have you in my sights as well.

Then one day, when I'm paid about ten million dollars at everyones disgust by the government after a high profile court case in the media, I can truly do whatever I want. 

Keep egging this on, media and government, just more money you gonna have to pay out to me.

Paul holmes

Another Saturday, another column.  He has put out a new book about the Mount Erebus disaster of the late eighties and in a nutshell, an Air New Zealand plane crashed killing all on board down Antartica way.  Air New Zealand used to fly their planes down there for an aerial tour of the mountains and snow from Christchurch I think.

He types up those columns about this and that but do you think he holds any credibility?  Because if you take the 'Abstain for the Game' campaign column calling the entire project stupid, how can he say that?  How can he say that when I suspect he had something to do with that all along?  Me and Mr. Holmes go way back.  I hope these entries with his name typed in them make it on to the highest ranking pages of Google.  I'd enjoy that kind of attention.  Right now, they could be way way back in the back of search results with the keywords 'Paul Holmes'.  As in, like in the hundreds.  I haven't checked.  If only there was an easy way to find out?  Google has changed in recent times because I used to use a search engine by the name of Lycos that had the ability to display webpages in a pop-up window before even clicking on them to log on.  Google has upgraded to do the same as them, coincidently.  Ha.

It is staggering how much pull Paul Holmes has in this world, period.  Crime, media, government... you name it, he has the power.  Who I suspect is a high ranking Freemason, thus, loyal the cause of Jews around the world.  He can make or break anyone, he has the power of god.  You would always want to be on his good side, with that said, of course.  However I'm not.  He has a daughter.  In fact, an adopted daughter that the media didn't hold back with jokes to do with involvement in 'P' or meth, when she had been doing it and got caught.  They said,"I wonder how long it will be before Millie Holmes shaves her head?"... refering to Britney Spears doing the same about this time five years ago after her breakdown.  Do I have sympathy?  Why should I?  Paul Holmes has it in for me and just wants to kill with kindness.  No, not only that, also hate.  What is a form of torture although I don't know what exactly it is called such as lack of sleep, sleep deprivation.  In one position for so long, forced rendition.  Actually, I think what is happening to me is another form of stoning with religious motivation, only electric shocks plus also hi-tech slavery to add to it.  I doubt they'll ever be put behind bars for this and there is no evidence plus the people who do this along with their associates will deny it all the way.

Paul Holmes was foolish enough to cross the line between fantasy and reality and go where he did where it was uncalled for and he was not welcome after.  I am still unsure as to whether it is really him or he is being used by someone he knows, likely a criminal figure, to represent him out here in the civil war against little man being erased, me.

If I am such a problem, what am I still doing here?  I should sue for at least $320,000 dollars in reparation and no your distractions and cover-ups I hope, will not work.  This treatment I experience should cease immediately, it is well over-due.  I am being set up here, to fail.  I need like a new name, a new face, a new place to live.  The New Zealand government does this for people like me but had to take a long, drawn out detour away from what should have happened at the unnecessary expense of so much money, so many lives, with the help of those who know the Prime Minister of New Zealand personally that have the power to do such things.  I don't believe these people that I have wronged are genuinely that angry, they're putting it on.  They are also jealous.

This should end immediately and never come back again.  I'd be better for it.

The bee gees

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRNTQvXSsfA

Okay so go there through that link and get an idea in a song of what this is about.

Can't sleep

I like times like these when I can't sleep and I log on to Blogger to let you all know.  I think my food or drink was spiked again but I did drink a small bottle of Mountain Dew today and that can affect me.

However its better, because at this time of day, almost nine at night, there is no chance of me being uptight and on the edge of rage compared to say eleven in the morning when I usually am.  I mean, I'm suppost to believe that it is god or some spirit inside of me, maybe Satan.  But I know that it is to do with technology so because of that, it is why I would like to see my conviction overturned as I could say I was provoked to do I think it is safe to say, everything I did wrong.  It wasn't me, it was a technologically generated artificial feeling that I shouldn't have felt that made me do those things.  Is it happening to other people too?  Is that why marijuana is popular amongst people who suffer from mental illness like myself?  Is my mental illness, psychosis, more than it should be for me?  The continuous music playing in my head that is like an interrogation every waking moment.  I'm telling you, man, I'm dangerous... I am so dangerous.  My brain is terror.  Then, how many times over the last year have I told you all that?

I have thought about linking this blog through to my friends on http://www.xbox360achievements.org.  I have already made many and know the regulars.  It has only been about over a month.  Should I be afraid that they will find this blog too up the wall?  Do they already know?  Maybe I will link through but from their site, in one of their threads dedicated to Facebook, Bebo etc.... 

To mark the year, shall I change the design of this blog?  Perhaps I'll see what I can do.

You know, there is this American woman that I know that lives in this unit not too far from where I am.  Most of the time I walk past her place through a park, she is there waiting for me.  A bit disturbing really because she knows who I am but I don't know her.  I seriously think I might know her from a past life, as in... a life I am yet to live but in the past after time travel.  Wow, awkward. 

I was probably like, back then, in the nineties,"Oh yeah, I'm a virgin, I'm such a winner."... saying all this stuff about me that I'm not, meeting people that would go on to haunt me after all the C.I.A. endorsed lies I told, the double life, but my yet to go back self.  Maybe I even meet the love of my life back then and develop a heart to heart special relationship with her (or him, probably Asian) but all the while, unless my memory was erased, knowing that it is all a lie.  Seriously, this is what I really think!  If I told my doctor and nurse this, they'd think I'd have completely lost it.  I have already told them, though, about the invisible people who visit me, and usually hurt me, in my own home, in my sleep.  Maybe that's why I have had to endure so much of this hate campaign for so long, for almost ten years now, because it is to fulfill or compensate for the life I am about to live in the past from about 1991 to 2001, I guess.  Hmmm...

I was thinking before, I need to compensate again.  Since March 19th 2008 is the day I started masturbating again after I believe I was receiving a voice being high on V (an energy drink) telling me that it was okay to do so.  So it has been four years, do I need to abstain again?  I am months over due.  Doesn't it matter anymore?