This is my personal diary to my six-pack of abs. I began yesterday, the 6th of August, and will finish on the 17th of September 2012. You can try this for yourself by visiting this link. http://www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/news/article.cfm?c_id=6&objectid=10768132 .... Just follow the instructions.
IMPORTANT: REMEMBER TO STRETCH BEFORE YOUR EXERCISES. THIS ARTICLE, ORIGINALLY FROM THE INDEPENDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE UNITED KINGDOM, AMAZINGLY FAILS TO INSTRUCT THE READER TO DO SO. IF YOU DON'T, YOU CAN SERIOUSLY HURT YOURSELF! THIS IS DANGEROUSLY MISLEADING!
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DAY ONE, WEEK ONE
I begin this experiment I guess, I will either succeed or fail. I position myself down on a white woolen mat of my white living room carpeted floor and begin today with press-ups. I manage about ten before I have to pause intermittently on and off to get back my breath but I do this for fifteen minutes and must have reached over thirty in total. I get on my back and begin crunches, I must have done about over thirty of those too. I made sure to throw as much as my body up as I could, I really tried to put power up in behind myself to lift myself up. I then finish with thirty minute run on my treadmill, I complete three kilometers.
DAY TWO, WEEK ONE
My body is aching and this is strange because I certainly didn't wake up this way this morning. These nagging aches have only come over me in my legs and arms over the last couple of hours. I have felt much worse though, this isn't the first time.
I go through the routine again and I'm not sure as to whether I found it more difficult today than yesterday. Anyway, it is a struggle but I think I have put in the same effort. The run on the treadmill, I notice, is more difficult this time and maybe it is because I ate an unusually delicious steak last night for my protein intake, which worries me. Still, I persevere and complete my thirty minutes on the treadmill then collapse over the console to get back my breath and thoughts.
DAY THREE, WEEK ONE
I start on the treadmill today and do ten minutes and just over one kilometre because I feel a nagging pain in my right leg. Then I get on the floor and do seventy press-ups. They all were somewhat half-pied but I'm still blown away by how well I did because of the number as I kept count. I then get on my back and do crunches but stop at five minutes because I feel something unusually moving uncomfortably in my abdomen like a rib or something... I also noticed a vague bruise on my right leg.
DAY FOUR, WEEK ONE
I start on the treadmill again today and cut my time down to fifteen minutes from thirty. I complete the time and distance (over a kilometer) and do well. I found that the nagging pain in my right leg just went away as I continued my run. I then get on the floor and do crunches, I don't keep count. I don't keep count but I go for fifteen minutes and what seemed to me to be a dislocation in my abdomen went away as well just like the pain in my right leg and that I found quite extraordinary. When it came to press-ups, I fail miserably. I manage about ten. This was certainly a far cry to the seventy press-ups I achieved yesterday, I don't really know why I achieved so little today. I didn't think to stretch.
DAY FIVE, WEEK ONE
Disaster struck, my training has hit a brick wall. I manage two press-ups, my arms are so weak. I then get on my back and try crunches but this dislocation of some kind in my right abdomen is still there and worries me a little. I stopped as I decided not to carry on and aggravate it although yesterday it just went away. I just give up on running.
So from here I have two days to get back my strength and all the aches go away then week two will begin with me trying myself out on adventure playground equipment. From what I have been reading, it will be not easy.
DAY ONE, WEEK TWO
The article I linked to above from the Independent shouldn't be so shallow, it could have gone into greater detail. I feel ready to start another week and this is crunch time. I have never done pull-ups on a bar before. Over the weekend I drunk not one beer, but a lot of vodka and to my surprise, didn't get rolling drunk. I hope this hasn't hindered my journey to my six pack of abs. In one bar I visited, I could see some men with pot bellies or unusually shaped abdomens, I think that has come about from drinking. Me? I am quite thin now, but I still have quite a bit of abdominal fat that I have learnt could be an early warning sign for heart disease when I get older.
I arrive at the playground and all the kids should be at school, it is empty. I thought there were pull up bars there but there aren't. I do ten minutes of stretching. That is, my legs, my arms and my legs again. I wipe down the slide because it is a bit wet after we have had a wet weekend and attempt these sit ups I have been reading about. I don't know how the reporter attached his legs to the top of the slide but I don't try that and instead hold on to these nearby bars with my arms and hands so I don't slide down the slide backward. I think, no, this isn't going to work so I leave and come back home.
I arrive home and do fifty push-ups stopping and starting because it is hard work. I try crunches but I still feel a dislocation in my abdomen so I think I won't push myself and aggravate it further because there is the potential there to seriously hurt myself. I get on my expensive all flash and no substance treadmill and complete over one kilometer in fifteen minutes.
The treadmill workout was more of a struggle than usual, maybe it was because I drunk a bit too much alcohol over the weekend. And I did drink more than ever before, actually. I'm not completely satisfied with how I have been unable to do my crunches, I should be training for an hour, no less.
Every time I sit on the toilet I can see my abdominals and it appears there is a six-pack forming, or maybe it is just my excess abdominal fat, haha.
DAY TWO, WEEK TWO
I arrive at the adventure playground and do ten minutes of stretching. Then I try and do crunches or sit-ups on the little narrow blue curvy slide, I can't do it. I can't do it because the incline is too steep and I can't do it without sliding down the slide backward, I need to stay in one place at the top of the slide.
So then I remembered, the press-ups on the park bench. I position myself up on the bench with my legs on it and the rest of myself on an incline down to the ground. Amazingly, I found doing this more easier than doing just normal press-ups on an almost even keel. I do fifty, stopping and starting, because I feel a pain in my lower abdomen above my pelvis that the pain was excruciating if I had of continued on and did ten more than I did each time. I get to thirteen minutes when I look at my cellphone stopwatch and think no, I will do ten more instead of just giving up and moving on.
Someone calls out to me by calling me a faggot. I would like him to come out here and do what I'm doing, maybe I might be impressed. He can prove his straight superiority to me in an exercise competition instead of perhaps a fight, the hard motherfucker. Hehe. He is really cute by the way. He is like a real life Japanese anime character as in Yu-Gi-Oh. He must be a year younger than me but he still looks so young, I think I'm in love.
I get on my treadmill, I HAVE AN ABSOLUTE ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF ENERGY AND I FEEL AMAZING THROUGHOUT as I complete a record three and a half kilometres at a running pace. I almost fall off too by taking off my hooded sweatshirt, but I just slide off the machine onto my feet. I think the Indian Korma curry sauce I had last night mixed in with my boiled onions for my vegetable intake, twice, had something to do with it.
To finish this extraordinary day, I do dozens of powerful crunches for fifteen minutes.
DAY THREE, WEEK TWO
Today was certainly better than yesterday as I begin by stretching, then ninety press-ups stopping and starting on the park bench in sets of twenty then I take a short walk home and do thirty minutes running then crunches. I didn't have so much energy today so maybe I might buy more of that curry sauce to help me then mix it in with my boiled onions.
I also want to buy a canoe or kayak and paddle the harbour from one end to the other then back again (I live on a coast) to exercise my arms and torso. I also already play basketball (shooting hoops) and I have a black and yellow Everlast punching bag I might set up in my garage soon. This might all turn to shit tomorrow though, don't ask me why.
DAY FOUR, WEEK TWO
Well. I believed that I would fail miserably today after a bit of sexual activity last night but I did more of the same instead. Ten minutes stretching, ninety press-ups from the park bench in sets of twenty off and on with more stretching in between, then another three and a half kilometers on my treadmill and THEN about fifty or so crunches that should really work my abs well. I also started at seven in the morning when noone was around, not even school children, in the park. I usually exercised at around eleven in the morning.
DAY FIVE, WEEK TWO
Another job well done from me. Actually, even better. I managed to get up to speed nine on my treadmill, a new record, and I held that speed for five minutes. I think I should be thanking my stretching for how I did so well... my arms and legs, I'm quite proud of myself, and that is a sin. Ninety press-ups and a series of crunches once again. I almost fainted today too by the way, I was so close. It was a bit scary but soon got over it after a minute or two laying down then just got on my way. I felt so light headed in a room then I was walking down a corridor and I could see my vision turn to large spots of blackness, not fun. This is the second time this has happened while being on my low-carbohydrate diet. I have been in something called the state of ketosis for seven months now, a very long time compared to others. Maybe tonight I might be in a state of a coma after a fight, haha! I hope not, I will probably get my ass handed to me.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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